Saturday, December 27, 2008

Happy National Fruitcake Day

Nope, I did not make this up; today is National Fruitcake Day! Yeah, another holiday to celebrate!!!

Besides gnawing on a slice of dried fruit and brandy laden baked good, let's take a look at the real Fruitcakes that have descended upon us this Xmas season!

  • First up is Bernard Madoff, the Wall Street Wizard who swindled some 50 billion away from investors using something called a "Ponzi Scheme" (which is sort of like a pyramid scheme, if I am not mistaken). Have a nice big slice of Fruitcake, Bernie.
  • Next is Bruce Jeffrey Pardo, the crazy mother-fucker who, dressed as Santa, entered a party at his former in-law's home and opened fire on the crowd before setting fire to the house and then killing himself. What a guy! They should bury him in a Fruitcake tin.
  • Local Boy,James Joseph Cialella Jr was pissed off at the people talking during a showing of The Curious Case of Benjamin Button at a movie theater in Philadelphia, so he shot some guy in the arm! Eat the Fruitcake, Jimmy!!
  • Sending Holiday Greetings to the world,Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Iran's Grand Pooh bah, still managed to piss off people with his "Christmas Message" that was broadcast on 12/25. I did not see it, so I can't really comment, but that last person I want wishing me a Joyous Noel, is some despot with bad skin and an unkempt beard. Have some Fruitcake, Mahmoud - and chill out, will ya?
OK, now that that's out of the way; I hope you all have a wonderful National Fruitcake Day!

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