Monday, December 19, 2005

A Control Freak Christmas (and I say that with love)

Last night we hosted the usual Sunday night crowd over at our place.

As per usual we were joined by Penny and Mark, Miguel and Kit Kat, Cerpts, P.G. and of course, my ‘darling daughter’, Leelee.

I don’t know what Leelee had been drinking before she arrived, or if there had been some kind of seed pod hidden under her bed earlier, but she was in rare form. Arriving fashionably late wearing a faux chinchilla, form fitting coat, ruby red lipstick, her jet black hair perfectly coifed; she looked like Liz Taylor in, Butterfield 8.

She was acting like Liz Taylor in, Who’s Afraid of Virginia Wolfe?

Once she had a cocktail in hand, Leelee perched on her favorite spot on the Davenport and pronounced, “Ok, I want everyone to open the gifts I bought them one at a time so that I might be able to see what your face looks like when you open the gift I give you.”, And with that she took out a leather bound copy book and started taking notes…

Whatshisname went to light a cigarette and Leelee’s eye’s flashed like that of an angry cheetah as she proclaimed, “NO SMOKING WHEN GIFTS ARE BEING OPENED!”

Silence reigned as the guests, one by one, opened Leelee’s gifts. Careful not to tear the perfect wrapping paper, cautious in following directions on how to reveal the gift, “No, make sure you open the box leaving the Smiling Snow Man Sticker in the upper right hand corner!” – “Read the gift card first! It was hand lettered by monks from Siberia!”

And guess what? Every gift was exceptional, and thoughtful. Leelee knows how to personalize and make these things special and she outdid herself again.

See that’s the funny thing about control freaks; sometimes they are worth every bit of that freaking control!

Once she had observed our reactions, Leelee settled back and allowed her self to relax and enjoy... a true touching moment came when Penny presented her with a lovely necklace that had a small tasteful silver charm on it

That charm had the word, "cunt", spelled out on it. Nope, I am not making this up.

It brought Leelee to tears and she announced through misty eyes that she would be wearing it to work tomorrow.

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