Monday, August 15, 2005

Typical Phone Call (work mode)

Typical phone call here at The Department of Developing Services for the Families of the Unfortunate who some-how Believe that they are now Entitled to King Solomon’s Riches (DODSFUSHBEKSR).

Me: Good morning this is Pax, can I help yo…

Them:
I just got a letter telling me that my daughter is now under services; tell me what am I entitled to?

Me:
Well, none of our services are entitlements. Once your child came under services, they became eligible for services.

Them:
But I was told that your agency would build me a new fence, refurbish my bath-room, send my child to a therapy camp, and give me a monthly stipend so that I could go back to school!

Me:
Who told you that? That’s not exactly what we do. I mean, I could maybe help you get one of those things you mentioned, but beyond that you are asking for the impossible.

Them:
But I was told that I could get all of this if my kid got under services.

Me:
I am sorry, but you were misled. Now let’s be realistic, what is your child’s number one priority right now?

Them:
We need a new pool; my child needs water therapy on a daily basis.

Me:
Fine, submit me three estimates and …

Them:
What? I don’t have time to do that! Can’t you agency just give me the money so that we could have the pool built ourselves.

Me:
I could submit a request, but at this time, the most you might get is a thousand dollars.

Them:
A thousand dollars? You can’t get a pool for that much!

Me:
Exactly, that’s why if you get me the estimates we could pay someone directly out of a different fund and get you what you need.

Them:
Well the pool would have to be inside so we would need an extension on our home.

Me:
Look, again, you have to be realistic, this is not “make a wish” it’s an assistance program for families in need, an indoor pool is not going to be approved, perhaps we could get you an above ground pool … or have you considered a membership at your local YMCA? I could get you funds for that and your child could use the pool there every day in the week.

Them: A public pool? Are you crazy? Do you know what kind of germs there are in public pools?

::: this is the point where I bang the phone on the desk and bite my tongue so as not to loose my mind and begin cursing this person out :::

Me: Sorry, I dropped the phone for a second.

Them:
I want to talk to your supervisor!

Me:
Hold on I’ll connect you!

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