Saturday, August 21, 2004

Whatshisname Plans A Party

Billy Beeker And The Blow Boys (tonight's Musical Guests at Whatshisname's Party)


Things are stirring at the villa as my beloved prepares to host a party tonight.

Let me explain that when social gatherings occur here at Casa Romano, yours truly usually gets the ball rolling by inviting guests, hiring the help, planning the menu, audition the orchestra and pretty much not stopping until the last guest has arrived and everyone is three sheets to the wind.

This time, Whathisname has opted to do the honors, and assured me that he would take this puppy from start to end. “Don’t do anything”, he said, “This one is all mine”.

Seizing this opportunity for what it’s worth, I went to have my tux pressed this morning, and purchased a new top hat and cane. On the sly, I called some of my friends (the ones on the Utopian Social Registrar – I was going to need some of the “In Crowd” to spice up this event).

When I got home from my errands I found Whatshisname on all fours, his head in the ice box; fearing that he was going to try something drastic, like inhaling Freon, I grabbed at his waist and pulled him away from the still hissing kitchen appliance.

“What are you doing?” he asked, his face glistening with sweat.

It was then that I saw that the entire contents of the refrigerator was emptied about the kitchen area, condiments and foodstuffs where everywhere. It was then I also noticed the cleaning supplies, and rags and buckets on the floor. My gaze shifted over to the interior of the ice box again; it was spotless, clean like the day it rolled off the assembly line.

I was shocked!

“What have you done with Whatshisname?” I asked scanning the place for huge seed pods, “Who are you, and why are you cleaning?”

You have to understand, my significant other is a lot of things; diligent reader, wonderful debater, deep thinker … but when it comes to housework, well let’s just say that Whathisname will never suffer from the heartbreak of dish pan hands.

In the split of domestic duties, keeping the dust settled has usually fallen to me; conversely things like braving the supermarket are his.

As I continued watching in amazement as he meticulously cleaned that Frigidaire, I felt a sort of pride, the same thing a parent must feel when their youngster first takes a tentative step towards adult hood. My guy was making me proud.

“You should throw a party every week”, I said as I found him scouring the master bathroom floor an hour later, “Then I’d never have to clean again!”

It’s been a fun day, watching him fret over the amount of liquor on hand, the ice, the glassware and everything else. I kind of wish I were video taping the events.

Later on tonight when our friends arrive, I plan on having a great time, happy in the thought that when the night is over, I get to sleep with the hottest looking guy at the party, the one with the slightest whiff of 409 to him…

1 comment:

HildaSwandumper said...

Angel Tits, This will undoubtedly be the party of the season, I was very distressed, recieving an invitation and knowing that I'd have to decline, unfortunatly, due to a previous commitment and mix up at the dry cleaners, a night of frivolity, gaiety and mixing with one's own set is not to be. I do look forward to reading about this event, in the new issue of "Town and Country" and I'll eagerly await the next "crush" which I will attend in all my bugle beaded glory!

P.S. - Sweetie, please don't shame youknowho, whatshisname, by ending the evening under the piano in a lampshade, remember, poise, unlike your virginity, is something you can only loose once! - H.S.