My good friend Pax is taking a well deserved break, he’s had such a day, you don’t want to know…anyways, he asked me to take over the reigns of this bloggy thing and give you my two cents.
So be it! Anything for a mensch like Pax!
My name is Saul Feinstein; I run a discount shoe store in Center City Philadelphia, (Saul’s Soles – 1313 South Market Street, Phila. Pa. 555.555.5554) and while I am never one to gossip, I do hear things from time to time vis a vis my customers.
Lately, everyone’s been a buzz over this nice Jewish Boy and the Goyem Governor of the State of New Jersey. Oy, such talk you would not believe. The things I have heard have made even me blush!
Nonetheless, I have noticed that this nice boy’s face is all over the papers here in the Philadelphia area. Just this morning, I was having breakfast with my wife, Sylvia, who said to me, “Saul, such a mess about this Golan fellow. How could such a handsome boy be a fagallah?”
Now, My Syl, she knows from gay men, she was after all, in show business back in the 50’s as a June Taylor Dancer on the Jackie Gleason Show, so she rubbed elbows with those “artsy types” and I think she is smart enough to know gay from Adam.
Syl is also an open minded woman, g-d knows when she burnt that bra of hers back in the 70’s she never looked back, even if half of the Catskills almost burnt down as a result. Nonetheless, Syl told me that if Golan is gay, that’s OK with her, but, Oy, the poor boy’s mother is going to be so full of shame; “No mother wants to admit she raised a boy who is light in the loafers”; she said to me as she applied her tenth coat of nail polish.
“It’s not for us to judge, Syl”, I said, “Rabbi Shenkelman said so at Temple this past Sabbath”.
“Shenkelman!” She said, her voice rising, “The holy man who took all my pantyhose and several of my unmentionables for personal use, you think maybe he has an ulterior motive when he says not to judge?”
It’s true, Rabbi Max Shenkelman, our Rabbi, is prone to dress in woman’s clothing, not that I care, the man is a wizard when it comes to performing circumcisions and what he can do with a couple of throw pillows and new drapes in a dull room is nothing short of miraculous.
After breakfast as I schlepped on down to the store, I picked up the morning paper, and there he was staring back at me, the nice boy, the Jew who brought down the Irish Catholic Governor … First Lewinsky and now him, what is it with Jewish help and sex scandals?
Then I tucked the paper under my arm and made my way to the store to open up for the day.