Friday, August 27, 2004

And The Winners Are: Today's Prize Winning Guest Bloggers!

After hours of going through the nearly thousands of replies to my dream, Pax Romano’s Ramblings Inc, is pleased to announce that the Grand Prize Winner is, Ms. Florence Lawrence of Beverly Hills, California, and The first Runner Up is Mr. Tony Shyguy of Black Oak Arkansas.

Ms. Lawrence has won a life’s supply of "Thunderpussy Cosmetics" as well as an Airtight Alibi.

Mr. Shyguy has won carton of “Snick’s Freeze Dried Singlets” (just add water), as well as the unlisted phone number of Miss Magnolia … err, Miss Hilda Swandumper.

First here is Ms. Lawrence’s take on my dream:

MY INTERPRETATION: AHEM! obviously, the mountains behind you are the past. you are "at a pass"...are you contemplating some major change or step in your life? you're also walking into the east, another sign of new beginnings, birth, etc. at the same time, repeating the past, "going back" is fraught with danger and fear. so, you are inclined to make the change, yet fearful of repeating past mistakes?
water in dreams is traditionally a sexual symbol...the orbs..."perfect" experiences? fulfilling and valued experiences? something that can't be improved is very self sustained (floating) and makes you feel safe and secure.
also traditionally, the figures behind you represent your guardian angels, if you're inclined to believe in such. they should have appeared on your right...did they? and again, a representation of the past and future...don't worry about the fact that you couldn't see their faces...if you believe they are who I say, it is standard not to see their faces, one never does. the playing cards...a gamble you'll have to make on your own, with no help from anyone else, even tho you have had the representation of safety before you. you have a safety net. and the flowers...you'd like the gamble to turn out to be a room full of roses, more or less. so tell us...are you contemplating some life move, at some level?
and by the way, darling, i usually charge for this!

Mr. Shyguy’s read of the dream:

The mountains are OBVIOUSLY your sleeping mind's attempt to justify your fascination with Trish's rack of pink and white gazongas.

The glowing orbs that make you feel safe are your desire to see more testicles on a daily basis. You must be unhappy with the amount you see on Campfire.

The man and the boy holding hands are a link to the catholic church. Even if you are NOT Catholic you still want to be an altar boy.

I am thinking that the deck of cards must have something to do with Masturbation (solitaire, maybe). The cards turning into flowers is a metaphor for orgasm--a winning hand of solitaire, if you will.

Do I win?

Thanks again to everyone who entered!

Make sure you catch Ms. Lawrence and Mr. Shyguy at tonight’s press conference at the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion.

And for the record, Flo I think you hit the nail on the head; and Tony, you are sick puppy!

10 comments:

snicks said...

i see...i guess my "lay off the 'shrooms" hit too close to home, huh?...fine. tell tony i will hand deliver the singlets, and model them for him if he wants.
btw, how the hell are you going to get your hands on those thunderpussy cosmetics? i thought the FDA banned them. i heard you could only get them from some whorehouse in guam?

PaxRomano said...

Ah Snicksy, ya know I love ya! And as for the Thunderpussy Line, hey you should see the amazing foundation, I used it to paint the deck!

MagnoliaThunderpussy said...

Pax darling, don't be taken by Miss Snick's so called innocence, she's long been the number one customer for the "Thunderpussy" line of cosmetics, any makeup for that matter, many is the time I've seen her, all painted up like trash, about to embark on her merry round of homewrecking.

We may test eye liner and lipstick on animals but she tests it on other people's husbands, I somehow think the animals have the better advantage.

FLORENCELAWRENCE said...

i'd like to thank all of the little people...you darlings out there in the dark, who have made me the screen goddess, american icon and international sex symbol that i am today...without your adulation, scrimping and saving so that you could hurry down to the bijou and view my latest blockbuster, why, i might be a mere common mortal like you all! remember, no matter what trials and tribulations i may have to endure in the name of art, i do it gladly for you all.

by the way, could i return those cosmetics in for the cash equivalent?

MagnoliaThunderpussy said...

Florence, my darling, of course you can return the cosmetics, so unsuitable for you, we'll get you a gift certificate at 'Sherwin Williams' instead!

Tony said...

Go ahead and let Snicks deliver my prize. I havent felt this happy since that time I won the "Kiss a Porn-star Contest" back in 1993. Yay Me!

FLORENCELAWRENCE said...

just a thought...is there any chance of freeze drying the singlets WHILE snickless is wearing them???

and as for you, miss thunderbottom, i'll have you know that with my dewy complexion and perfect features, all i EVER have to do is dab on a tiny bit of "virginal pink" lipstick and i'm ready for my close up!

Tony said...

I tried to call the number supplied to me as a prize, and I got a phone-sex company. I don't think that's funny at all. Now my phone is all wet from the tears I wasted attempting to reach Miss Hilda Swandumper. The girl on the other end, Tiffany Toptits, refused to even acknowlege that she even knows who Hilda is, then she asked me if I was "touching myself." How offensive! Granted, I WAS touching myself, but still.....

PaxRomano said...

Tony,

So sorry for the mix-up. Hilda's direct line is BUtterfield 8-5555. Make sure you use the code word, "rich boy" when prompted.

Please fill is in on the date! I am sure you two will be very happy!

Pax

GloriaWandrous said...

Mama, face it: I was the slut of all time.