Frankly I have surprised myself. You see, I could easily smoke a pack a day (that’s twenty cigarettes), however since I have started “logging in” every butt I puff …well on Monday I smoked a grand total of fourteen and yesterday (in spite of what a big day it was) I only smoked twelve.
By writing down when you smoke, one tends to reflect upon the very action of smoking itself. You non-smokers (those who were lucky enough to never pick up a pack) don’t understand the many levels this addiction has to it; you smoke because you crave it (obviously) but you also light up when happy, or when stressed…you might light up while reading the paper or out of boredom on a long car ride…to celebrate the first cup of coffee or a a glass of wine or maybe after a big meal. After a while the entire ceremony of smoking becomes engrained in ones life.
Another thing I have noticed is I am much more aware of smoking in general. Yesterday evening, I was out for dinner. Someone in the restaurant lit up and I could smell it. I could not see who it was, but I could smell it. No, it did not disgust me or make me sick, but I was very aware of it.
Later on, when I was home, I had the TV on in the bedroom while I was putting some clothes away. HBO was showing Dark Victory. There is this one scene where Bette Davis is in the hospital waiting for her brain surgery, she is sitting up in bed talking to her friend and to her doctor… and she is puffing away on a cigarette! Actually that made me laugh out loud.
Anyway, I do intend on being smoke free soon, so I will from time to time (for my sake-this is purely personal) update my progress and transgressions here at my blog.