Saturday, July 10, 2004

Of Dogs and Cars and Banks and Live Theatre.

Our house guest, Miss Sabelina Barfatellia, requested my services at five thirty this morning. So I reluctantly got up and stumbled about until I found her leash and collar and took her out for her pre-dawn constitutional.

It was a cool morning and frankly, once I got past the fact that no caffeine was coursing through my veins, I actually enjoyed taking the little mutt for her walk.

Ms. Barfatellia has been staying with me and Whatshisname for almost three weeks, but she is supposed to be going home today.

Anyway, as we are going for our walk we pass a small car parked on the street. Sabelina, being the inquisitive little beast that she is, decides to sniff at the car wheels. As I am trying to yank her away towards the grass, a head pops up from inside the car.

“SHIT!” a woman yells from the passenger side of the car.

“OH MAN!” a guy’s voice intones.

“BARK BARK” adds the dog.

Embarrassed, but amused, I guide the mutt away from this little bit of pre-dawn carnal adventure.

The car starts up and roars away.

I love live theatre!
**********
Later on I had to go to the bank to transfer some cash from one account to another. When I got there I found some long lines. Nonetheless, I took my place and waited, and waited, and waited.

About fifteen minutes into my interval, this guy walks in and up to the line and gets in front of me. Before I can say or do anything, the bank guard comes up to him and tells him to get to the back of the line. The guy, a middle aged man in Bermuda shorts and a “Phillies” t-shirt says to the guard, “I’m in a hurry”.

The guard is not impressed and escorts him to the back of the line.

Finally, it’s my turn and I am lucky enough to get some young guy who is very talkative. As we are wrapping up my business, he starts talking movies with me. Well, this seems to be upsetting Middle-aged-I’m-In-A-Hurry-Guy who begins to “stage sigh”. Funny thing is, the young bank rep notices this and says to me, “So what are your all time favorite films”. Well at this point Middle-aged-I’m-In-A-Hurry-Guy, is about to blow a gasket. And he says, very loudly, “Could we hurry this up a bit.”

At this point the woman standing in front of him says, “Relax will you, you’ll get your turn”.

Anyway, I finish up my business and shake hands with the film fan bank rep and as I am heading away from his desk, I see that Middle-aged-I’m-In-A-Hurry-Guy is now engaging in a full scale argument with the woman who told him to relax.

It’s getting louder and louder and next thing I know, the bank guard and several of the male tellers are escorting this man out of the bank. As he is being headed for the door I hear, everyone in the bank hears him say, “Damn you people, I am in a hurry, YOU WILL HEAR FROM MY ATTORNEY”.

With that he is outside of the bank and suddenly a round of applause from everyone at the depository occurs.

I just love live theatre.

1 comment:

snicks said...

in regards to the first part, now we know where flo and her lawyer were.
the bermuda shorts guy incident is similar to something that happened last week at the video store.maybe it's the heat?