Sunday, September 14, 2008

Observations at the Supermarket

This morning found me in the Super Duper Over Sized Mega Monster Grocery Store here in Utopia, so that I could pick up a few odds and ends. As always, anytime spent in the supermarket is a learning experience concerning the human condition.

For instance,

On Religion and Politics:

Two well dressed, white, middle aged men leaving the store as I am coming in. One of them says, "The next thing you know, church will be outlawed!"

Both men are wearing McCain Palin buttons on their suit coats.

On Sex:


Very attractive young woman wearing short shorts and a skin tight t-shirt with another very attractive young woman dressed just as scantily are chatting loudly with each other. One of them says, "I can't stand it when guys, like, just stare at you."

On Customer Service and Respect for the Elderly:


Female senior citizen is complaining loudly to a store employee that she does not appreciate the new lay-out of the place. Claims that she will never come back, and that she is a life-long supporter of the store. Employee stares at her with an apathetic look on his face and then catches me looking at him, and gives me a can-you-believe-this-crap-look. He then turns his attention back to the woman, shrugs his shoulders and sighs, "Would you like to speak to a manager?"

**

A young woman is stuck behind a very elderly man and she is trying to push her basket around him. She keeps yelling, "Excuse ME!" But the old guy either can not hear her, or is moving as fast as he can (which is a snail's pace), finally the woman goes into bitch mode, and pushes her cart around the older man and almost knocks him over. The man looks over and says, "What's your hurry?" The old man looks up at me and says, "Sometimes I think it would be easier to just never leave the house." For some reason, this just breaks my heart.

On Using Humor to Make a Point:

A middle aged African American couple are debating what brand of soup to get. He says that he likes the name brand, and she claims that the store brand is just as good. He says, "Well if that's a fact then why do I see all of those name brands hanging in your closet?"

With that she laughs, and it's a loud, deep laugh that makes me laugh. The husband notices me and says to me, "See, ain't I right?"

On The Power of Lust
and Youth:

There is a very attractive young man who is bagging groceries. He has a head of dark red curly hair, gorgeous green eyes, and a very winning smile.

As I am standing on line, I realize that I am staring at him, and turn my attention to the other people on line.

That's when I notice two older women and a teenage girl all staring at the red-head. One of the older women has a slight smile on her lips. The teen girl seems mesmerized...

It's then that I wonder if the bag boy realizes the kind of power he has over people.

When it's my turn, he offers to bag, I turn him down and he frowns. I don't think he hears "no" very often.

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