Sunday, May 25, 2008

Somewhere in Dearborn Michigan, Somebody Got some New Sneakers!

A break from the frivolous.

Yesterday I was picking up some odds and ends for my trip and when I went to pay, my bank card was denied. Embarrassed, I managed to fish out just enough cash to pay for what I had, and left the store wondering what was going on.

When I got home, I checked my online balance and discovered that I was overdrawn to the tune of about two hundred bucks. I checked recent purchases and there amidst the mundane was a charge for five hundred and some odd dollars from a sport's shoe shop. Knowing my other half's love of foot-wear I screamed, "When did you by new sneakers?!?!"

Turns out, it was not his purchase. No, not in the least.

Whatshisname and I have a joint savings/checking account. Separate bank cards, tied to the same two accounts. Therefore, if he did not spend the money, and I did not spend the money ... oh dear, can you say, "identity theft"?

This morning we traveled to the only branch of our bank that had lobby hours and reported this to the bank manager. She took some information and brought up the charge on her computer: Two pairs of sneakers bought at a store in Dearborn Michigan yesterday morning. For some reason, Whatshisname's card number was attached to the purchase. Immediately, we were filling out forms and signing our names to a gazillion pieces of paperwork. From there we were instructed to file a police report and then report back to that branch of the bank on Tuesday morning to submit everything to the bank's big kahuna. They canceled Whatshisname's bank card also.

At the police station, a young female officer took our information and had us fill out another gazillion more pieces of paper. Since the "victim" was Whatshisname, he had to do most of the talking. When she asked him if anyone else should be notified if there are any arrests or questions concerning the case, he pointed to me and said, "Yes, of course, my partner."

The cop lady continued filling out the paperwork, asked for the spelling of my name, and when she got to the part of the report that asked what my relationship was to the victim, I repeated, "Partner, as In domestic".

Her pen hung in mid-air for a second and her face flushed red.

I could not resist it, so I blurted out, "If that freaks you out, you can just write roommate".

"No," she chuckled nervously, "not at all", as she scrawled domestic partner on the form.

Later on, police lady told us what will happen, and what probably won't happen. In as much as the bank has already reported the card as "hot" no more charges will be made, and the chance of actually catching the culprit is slim. She did suggest that Whatshisname contact the credit bureaus, and check his regular credit cards to see if any suspicious activity hit.

And that's how we spent this glorious Sunday morning. Chasing down papers and reports because some damn asshole decided he needed a couple of pairs of over-priced tennis shoes!

We both agreed, had we seen that the money was used for groceries, it would not have seemed so bad, but for a couple of fucking pairs of sneakers?!?!

Let this then serve as a cautionary tale, gentle reader, protect yourself from the identity thieves.

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