Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Water's World

Last night I was watching Charlie Rose on PBS and was shocked to see the smooth talking journalist sporting a black eye as well as a bandage.

I immediately figured that he must have been partying on Saint Patrick's day at some little Irish pub in Manhattan, and engaged in fisticuffs with another patron following a heated debate over what makes for good journalistic procedure.

Or maybe (since Charlie is something of a ladies man) he got into it with some bruiser after hitting on said bruiser's girlfriend. Or, who knows, maybe he pissed off a woman he was trying to pick up and she blindsided him.

Imagine my surprise when it was revealed that Charlie got his injury trying to hold on to his Mac book Air when it slid out of his hands. Seems Rose hit the pavement trying to protect his laptop, but got bumped up on the way down.

I'm not sure about that story.

Ever seen the film, Female Trouble? There is a scene where Divine (as Dawn Davenport) having just been given a shiner by her ex husband is trying to explain her appearance. She points to her bruised peep-hole and says, "Oh this? I fell and tripped getting on the bus this morning and my face hit the fare box, well, I felt like a damn fool!"

Lately it seems as if the world has just become one big John Water's film.

Governor's frequenting houses of prostitution, an ex Governor and his wife involved in a three-way with a cute twinky boy, a crazy fuck-head of a president acting like he's in his senior year of high school, Heather Mills (fresh from fleecing Paul McCartney of 48 million bucks) dumps a pitcher of water on her ex husband's attorney...

...Where does all of this foolishness end?

Come on, Charlie, tell us what really happened, or at least make up something fabulous and sordid (like a tale of a wild night with a German Tranny Dominatrix)!


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