Saturday, September 01, 2007

Things I've Learned from New York Magazine

Someone passed on the latest copy of New York Magazine to me the other day, and as I perused the pages of one of Gotham's favorite periodicals I drew the following conclusions:

*New Yorkers have a lot of free time on their hands: this I gleaned after seeing page after page of shows, concerts, museum openings, new bar openings, new club openings ... it must make them dizzy with all of the diversions they have to chose from.

* New Yorkers love to shop for anything: losing count on the amount of ads in this rag, I saw that everything is for sale in the City that Never Sleeps!

* New Yorkers do not eat at home: No ads for markets and no recipes were found, but a few hundred ads for restaurants and several reviews of eating establishments were found.

* New Yorkers are rich -- or horribly in debt: When an apartment the size of a postage stamp is considered "a steal" at a cool million, what else could I assume?

* New Yorkers do not like the way they look: this I figured after seeing several pages of ads for plastic surgeons. I also learned what a "Brazilian Butt Fill" was: anyone care to guess?

* New Yorkers do not like the way their mouths look: cosmetic dentistry is big business in Manhattan, as well as lip implants. The look must be "Donald Duck with perfect pearly whites!"

* New York straight men lust after Asian women: that might explain the two pages of escort services with such names as "Asian Bliss" and "Asian Joy".

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