Friday, March 23, 2007

Looking Back at Week I at Officeland II

What to say?

Let's talk about the location of Officeland II.

It's set right in the middle of Congestionville, NJ, surrounded by condos, apartment buildings and the Congestionville Mall (which is being refurbished, so there are tons of cranes and earth moving machinery everywhere). Highways criss and cross the landscape, and every non developed piece of land in the vicinity has a "for sale" sign posted on it.

The building itself is a sprawling three story soulless brick structure (have you ever seen the movie, "Dark Water"? It sort of looks like that apartment building from the outside).

You can take the elevator to the second floor to State Services, or you can take the stairs ... let's take the stairs: eeh gads, can it be any darker in this stairwell? I felt like I was walking into Freddy Kruger's boiler room...


Exit the stairs and enter the hallway, and suddenly it's kind of like "Poltergeist" (remember that scene when the mother is running down the hall, and the end of the hallway gets further and further away from her? -- that's what this narrow walkway puts one in mind of).

Many doors on either side of the hall add to the surreal sense here. And at the one end of the hall is a dark empty office which once belonged to a land development company (though how a land development company in Congestionville could go out of business is anyone's guess).

Entry to every door in the hallway can only be accessed by pressing a code on a key pad by the door's handles; the code is "666".

On one side of the office, the sun seems to be shining constantly, as if the building rotated to follow Apollo's chariot. On the other side, it's kind of dark.

Guess which side I am on?

There are rules in Officeland II. Men are encouraged to not wear cologne, and women to refrain from perfumes due to the sensitive noses of some co-workers. Plants (especially the flowering type) are frowned upon for the same reason.

Dust, however, seems ok, since it is everywhere.

Seating is tight, cubicles are about the size of a matchbox and everyone speaks in a whisper (most of the time), so for someone like me, who has a voice that carries, I have to be very aware of how loud I might be talking at any given time.

Happily, there are some friendly faces at Officeland II, Joey B, Dots, Lulu, Medbh and few others are there and that helps ... a lot.

All in all, it's going to take some adjusting (my phone and pc at work are on the fritz, and no seems to really care much about that fact), but I will survive, and probably thrive as soon as I get into the swing of the joint...

Next week I plan on bringing in a few dozen gardenias as well as bathing in Aqua Velva; that ought to make me very popular!!

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