Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Another Gay Preacher; Well Isn't That Special?

And yet another re born Xian falls by the wayside: Welcome Reverend Paul Barnes to the Church of Closeted Self Loathing.

Time to wake up Religious Right. We are everywhere! Sometimes we are standing in your midst.

Meanwhile let's crack open our bibles and see if we can find some words of comfort for the fallen Pastor and his flock at Grace Chapel in Englewood, Colorado...

First, dear holy rollers, forgive your brother:

"Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you."Ephesians 4:32

Then consider your pastor's "sin"; he had sex with another man. What's the big deal? David and Johnathan seemed to have a Brokeback Relationship:

"I grieve for you, Jonathan my brother; you were very dear to me. Your love for me was wonderful, more wonderful than that of women." 2 Samuel 1:26

The same was true for Daniel and Ashpenaz:

"Now God had brought Daniel into favour and tender love with the prince of the eunuchs". Daniel 1:9

Heck, how about what Ruth said to Naomi?:
Ruth-Naomi
"Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the LORD deal with me, be it ever so severely, if anything but death separates you and me." Ruth 1:16,17

Ya see, YA SEE? It's all right there in your big holy book! And you guys do believe in taking the word literally, don't you?

And as for Pastor Barnes: I've taken the liberty of contacting the Homosexual Home Office, your toaster over is on it's way!

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